a boy

Tiny turned one today. I sobbed, sang happy birthday, cuddled, played, cooked a cake, sobbed some more, tickled, sang, made spaghetti, laughed, carried, cuddled, took photos, opened presents, fielded well-wishes, felt teary (but no sobbing), sang happy birthday again, kissed, cuddled and then bid goodnight. Not by myself, mind you, he was there for much of it (as was his doting father and grandmother).

To borrow from a friend I spoke to this morning, this has been the longest and shortest year of my life.

I am crazy for this little boy. We had a weary, shaky, difficult start that required more strength than I ever knew I had but what great and abundant treasures we've found here. He is a beautiful, spirited, inquisitive, friendly, open little chap who lights up our lives. He chuckles, walks like a zombie (arms out front), likes his books (even upside down), loves jumping on and just generally hurling himself around the sofa, is the current world champion of Going Downstairs Backwards, and has comic timing to rival the best. If he had one birthday wish it would be to have free reign of the house.  Free reign to check out those kitchen cupboards once and for all - to lick the dishwashing liquid bottle, to play with the drain pipe and to root around in the compost bin looking for tasty morsels.  Free reign to explore the fridge - to pour the milk all over the floor, to stick his fingers in leftovers and to work small jars off the top shelf so they crash to floor with a clatter.  Free reign to check out the bathroom unsupervised - to unravel the toilet paper, to dangle his hands in the loo, to climb into the bath with a fully clothed splash.  Free reign to do as a boy fancies, really.  Instead, he got a great deal of loving diversions and free reign to bang however many pot lids and small tins of sardines he could carry.

We are forever indebted to this little bundle of energy that was created out of great love.  Our lives have been changed unexepectedly, beautifully and forever.  We are newer, and older, and changed and wouldn't have it any other way.

Happy Birthday, my baby.

Now, to bed. I am bushed.